“No more excitement for me. No more parties. No more boyfriends. No more husbands. I just want some peace. I want to sit on the beach with a martini. No, not a martini— a glass of wine. Because wine is what they drink in Spain, and I want to be in Spain. I want a house on the beach in Spain where my kids can visit during the summer. Well, not the whole summer. I want a house on the beach in Spain where my kids can visit for two weeks every summer.”
So this is my new favorite color.
"I just want to stop working."
For the past two days, this little dinosaur has been hitchhiking on my side mirror.
And every time I go back to my car, he’s just chilling on top of the mirror, ready to go.
The dude’s hella confused though. He sees himself in the mirror and tries to attract himself to himself
And sometimes it looks like he fell off …
Behold, my new alarm clock hack.
1 shot of espresso every half hour until I wake up.
Via TM™ © 2014
Shut the fuck up
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